Like other occult techniques of divination, the statistical method has a private jargon deliberately contrived to obscure its methods from non-practitioners.
G. O. Ashley
Like dreams, statistics are a form of wish fulfillment.
Jean Baudrillard
Statistics are no substitute for judgment.
Henry Clay
I could prove God statistically.
George Gallup
Round numbers are always false.
Samuel Johnson
Statistics: the mathematical theory of ignorance.
Morris Kline
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
Fletcher Knebel
He used statistics as a drunken man uses lampposts; for support rather than illumination.
Andrew Lang
Statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.
Aaron Levenstein
I will stand on, and continue to use, the figures I have used, because I believe they are correct. Now, I’m not going to deny that you don’t now and then slip up on something; no one bats a thousand.
Ronald Reagan
A single death is a tragedy. A million deaths is a statistic.
Joseph Stalin
There are two kinds of statistics; the kind you look up, and the kind you make up.
Rex Stout
Statistically, the probability of any of us being here is so small that you’d think the mere fact of existing would keep us all in contented dazzlement of surprise.
Lewis Thomas
There are lies, damned lies, and statistics.
Mark Twain
ARE YOU NORMAL? (Facts about us Americans. Did you know that…)
– Only 30% of us can flare our nostrils.
– 21% of us don’t make our bed daily. 5% of us never do.
– Men do 29% of laundry each week. Only 7% of women trust their husbands to do it correctly.
– 40% of women have hurled footwear at a man.
– 85% of men don’t use the slit in their underwear.
– 67.5% of men were tightie whities (briefs).
– The average bra size today is 36C whereas 10 years ago it was a 34B.
– 85% of women wear the wrong bra size.
– 3 out of 4 of us store our dollar bills in rigid order with singles leading up to higher denominations.
– 13% of us admit to occasionally doing our offspring’s homework.
– 91% of us lie regularly.
– 27% admit to cheating on a test or quiz.
– 29% admit they’ve intentionally stolen something from a store.
– 50% admit they regularly sneak food into movie theaters to avoid the high prices of snack foods.
– 90% believe in divine retribution.
– 10% believe in the 10 Commandments.
– 82% believe in an afterlife.
– 45% believe in ghosts.
– 13% (mostly men) have spent a night in jail.
– 29% of us are virgins when we marry.
– 58.4% have called into work sick when we weren’t.
– 10% of us switch tags in the store to pay less for an item.
– Over 50% believe in spanking – but only a child over 2 years old.
– 35% give to charity at least once a month.
– How far would you go for $10 million? 25% would abandon their friends, family, and church. 7% would murder.
– 69% eat the cake before the frosting.
– When nobody else is around, 47% drink straight from the carton.
– 85% of us will eat Spam this year.
– 70% of us drink orange juice daily.
– Snickers is the most popular candy.
– 22% of us skip lunch daily.
– 9% of us skip breakfast daily.
– 66% of us eat cereal regularly.
– 22% of all restaurant meals include french fries.
– 14% of us eat the watermelon seeds.
– Only 13% brush our teeth from side to side.
– 45% use mouthwash every day.
– 22% leave the glob of toothpaste in the sink.
– The typical shower is 101 degrees F.
– Nearly 1/3 of us women color their hair.
– 9% of women and 8% of men have had cosmetic surgery.
– 53% of women will not leave the house without makeup on.
– 58% of women paint their nails regularly.
– 62% of us pop our zits.
– 33% of women lie about their weight.
– 10% of us claim to have seen a ghost.
– 57% have had deja vu.
– 49% believe in ESP.
– 4 out of 5 of us have suffered from hemorrhoids.
– The average girl starts her period at age 12.
– 44% have broken a bone.
– Only 30% of us know our cholesterol level.
– 14% have attended a self-help meeting.
– 15% regularly go to a shrink.
– 78% would rather die quickly than live in a retirement home.
– 46.5% of men say they ALWAYS put the seat down after they’ve used the toilet, yet women claim to ALWAYS find it up.
– 30% of us refuse to sit on a public toilet seat.
– 54.2% of us always wash our hands after using the toilet.
– 23.5% admit they don’t always flush.
– 45.2% pee in the shower.
– 44.9% pee in the ocean.
– 28.1% pee in the pool.
– 55.2% will let someone else come in the bathroom while they’re using the toilet.
– 39% of us peek in our host’s bathroom cabinet. 17% have been caught by the host.
– 81.3% would tell an acquaintance to zip his pants.
– 29% of us ignore RSVP.
– 71.6% of us eavesdrop.
– 22% are functionally illiterate.
– Less than 10% are trilingual.
– 37% claim to know how to use all the features on their VCR.
– 53% prefer ATM machines over tellers.
– 56% of women do the bills in a marriage.
– 2 out of 3 of us wouldn’t give up our spouse even for a night for a million bucks.
– 20% of us have played in a band at one time in our life.
– 40% of us have had music lessons.
– 44% reuse tinfoil.
– 57% save pretty gift paper to reuse.
– 66% of women and 59% of men have used a mix to cook and taken credit for doing it from scratch.
– 53% read their horoscopes regularly.
– 16% of us have forgotten our own wedding anniversary (mostly men).
– 59% of us say we’re average-looking.
– Blacks are more than twice as likely to call themselves beautiful.
– 90% of us depend on alarm clocks to wake us.
– 53% of us would take advice from Anne Landers.
– 28% of us have skinny-dipped. 14% with the opposite sex.
– 51% of adults dress up for a Halloween festivity.
– On average, we send 38 Christmas cards every year.
– 20% of women consider their parents to be their best friends.
– 2 out of 5 have married their first love.
– The biggest cause of matrimonial fighting is money.
– Only 4% asked the parents’ approval for their bride’s hand.
– 1 in 5 men proposed on his knees.
– 6% propose over the phone.
– 71% can drive a stick-shift car.
– 45% of us consistently follow the speed limit.
– 2/3 of us speed up at a yellow light.
– 1/3 of us don’t wear seat belts.
– 12% of men never use their car blinkers.
– 44% of men tailgate to speed up the person in front of them.
– 25% of us drive after we’ve been drinking.
– 4 out of 5 sing in the car.
– The average sexual experience lasts about 39 minutes.
– Men say the average erect penis is 10″. Women say it’s 4″.
– 56% of men have had sex at work.
– 1 in 3 of us have had an extramarital affair.
– 62% think there is nothing wrong with affairs.
– 60% of men and 54% of women have had a 1-night stand.
– The most common fantasy is oral sex.
– Women buy 4 out of every 10 condoms sold.
– 8% of us have regular anal sex.
– 58% like dirty talk during sex.
– 22% rent porno flicks at least once.
So are YOU “normal”??
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