Quotes and aphorisms on cats, ideas, opinions, and humourous jokes by famous authors and artists on the most loved pet, included the poor Schrödinger’s cat.
I said something which gave you to think I hated cats. But gad, sir, I am one of the most fanatical cat lovers in the business. If you hate them, I may learn to hate you. If your allergies hate them, I will tolerate the situation to the best of my ability.
Raymond Chandler
Dogs come when they are called; cats take a message and get back to you.
Mary Bly
Your rat tail is all the fashion now. I prefer a bushy plume, carried straight up. You are Siamese and your ancestors lived in trees. Mine lived in palaces. It has been suggested to me that I am a bit of a snob. How true! I prefer to be.
Raymond Chandler
One cat in a house is a sign of loneliness, two of barrenness, and three of sodomy.
Edward Dahlberg
If a fish is the movement of water embodied, given shape, then cat is a diagram and pattern of subtle air.
Doris Lessing
Persian pussy from over the sea demure and lazy and smug and fat none of your ribbons and bells for me ours is the zest of the alley cat
Don Marquis
Cats always seem so very wise, when staring with their half-closed eyes. Can they be thinking, “I’ll be nice, and maybe she will feed me twice?”
Bette Midler
Cats are autocrats of naked self-interest. They are both amoral and immoral, consciously breaking rules. Their “evil” look at such times is no human projection: the cat may be the only animal (able to) savor the perverse or reflects upon it.
Camille Paglia
Of all God’s creatures there is only one that cannot be made the slave of the lash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with a cat it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat.
Mark Twain
Cats exercise… a magic influence upon highly developed men of intellect. This is why these long-tailed Graces of the animal kingdom, these adorable, scintillating electric batteries have been the favorite animal of Mohammed, Cardinal Richlieu, Crebillon, Rousseau, Wieland.
Leopold Von Sacher-Masoch
Ultimately, Schrödinger’s cat invites us to reflect on the uncertainty of knowledge and the role of the observer in determining reality itself.
Carl William Brown
Cats are smarter than dogs. You cannot get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.
Jeff Valdez
Perhaps God made cats so that man might have the pleasure of fondling the tiger.
Robertson Davies
When I play with my cat, who knows whether she is not amusing herself with me more than I with her.
Montaigne
The trouble with a kitten is That Eventually it becomes a Cat.
Ogden Nash
Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many different ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.
Joseph Wood Krutch
We should get cats too. Yes, it’s a great idea, they’re cheap, and there’s plenty of room in the freezer.
Carl William Brown
A cat is not merely diverted by everything that moves, but is convinced that all nature is occupied exclusively with catering to her diversion.
François Auguste Paradis De Moncrif
God made the cat to give man the pleasure of stroking a tiger.
Francois Joseph Mery
Cats kept their secrets; they yielded to no one.
Elizabeth Redfern
Reality is like a cat locked in a box: our questions open the door.
Carl William Brown
Cats are like Thoreau. You cannot explain them.
Dan Sklar
The sound of the cat mesmerizes, calms the chattering mind, stills the anxious heart.
Theresa Mancuso
Cats are like insects. They should be left outside to clean up the garbage.
Michael Mewshaw
Cats are like Baptists. You know they raise hell, but you can never catch them at it.
James Patterson
Those who’ll play with cats must expect to be scratched.
Miguel De Cervantes
Never try to outstubborn a cat.
Robert A. Heinlein
In the dictionary of Cat, mercy is missing.
Jane Hirshfield
Of all God’s creatures there is only one that cannot be made the slave of the lash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with a cot it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat.
Mark Twain
In ancient times, cats were worshipped as gods. They have never forgotten this.
Anonymous
It had need to be a wiley mouse that should breed in the cats ear.
John Heywood
The cat lives alone. He has no need of society. He obeys only when he wishes, he pretends to sleep the better to see, and scratches everything he can scratch.
Francois Rene
Cats have a consuming passion for watching human beings.
Akif Pirincci
Nothing’s more playful than a young cat, nor more grave than an old one.
Thomas Fuller
The cat is not in the long run anxious to please.
T. O. Beachcroft
If the cat waits for long hours, silent beside the crack of the wainscot, it is for pure pleasure. Cats do not keep the mice away; it is my belief that they preserve them for the chase.
Oswald Barron
It is a very onconvenient habit of kittens … that, whatever you say to them, they always purr.
Lewis Carroll
Cats … have a natural affinity for people who don’t like them–very perverse creatures.
Alan Goldsmith
I am not surprised at all that the Chinese feed themselves with a bit of everything, including dogs, cats and other disgusting little animals, what leaves me rather perplexed is why these greedy characters do not eat each other.
Carl William Brown
Cats are like that, as we all know, full of little nooks and crannies where secrets may hide.
Roger A. Caras
Cats are like shoes – you need them in a lot of colors.
Mari Skelly
A home without a cat, and a well-fed, well-petted, and properly revered cat, may be a perfect home, perhaps, but how can it prove its title?
Mark Twain
Oft in the stilly night, certain back fence melodies convince us that old Noah made a grave mistake when he let more than one cat in the ark.
Robert Elliott Gonzales
Cats are like women: allow them to nurse and attend you when ill, and they are sure to love you.
Gordon Stables
You know what cats are like – fast on their feet and not very grateful.
Helen Magee
Nowadays, we’re becoming more and more concerned about animal health, so in Italy they’ve even invented mutual insurance for dogs and cats; although it’s also true that at the same time they’re trying to dismantle the one for humans.
Carl William Brown
Cats … are like four-legged poster children for OCD.
Caroline Knapp
If dogs are like high school, cats are like a really tough Ph.D. program.
Siobhan Adcock
Cats, no less liquid than their shadows, Offer no angles to the wind. They slip, diminished, neat, through loopholes Less than themselves.
A. J. Tessimond
Cats are like donkeys and camels, they won’t ever quite give in to human tyranny, they won’t try to imitate the human soul.
Richard Aldington
Cats are like lesbians. They are creatures of narrow habit about which men can only glimpse the silken machinery of their minds.
Kinky Friedman
Cats are like the French: meals are very important to them, and they want to savor the experience without interruptions.
Kim Campbell Thornton
Cats are like statesmen – they prefer places to persons.
Edmund Hodgson Yates
Confront a cat with something he has never seen before and his first reaction will almost invariably be one not of fear but of curiosity.
Michael Joseph
A cat can be trusted to purr when she is pleased, which is more than can be said for human beings.
William Inge
A dog is like a liberal. He wants to please everybody. A cat really doesn’t need to know that everybody loves him.
William Kunstler
A cat has to be in a very bad mood if a human cannot coax him to purr.
Derek Tangye
It doesn’t matter what color the cat is, the important thing is that it catches, that it cheats, that it exploits the mouse. It’s a game that politicians know well, it’s the mice that don’t realize they are mice.
Carl William Brown
Leave a door open long enough, a cat will enter. Leave food, it will stay.
Jane Hirshfield
Cats, no less liquid than their shadows, Offer no angles to the wind. They slip, diminished, neat, through loopholes Less than themselves.
A.S.J. Tessimond
Beware of the night, child. All cats are black in the dark.
Jean Genet
Cats are autocrats of naked self-interest.
Camille Paglia
Cat said, “I am not a friend, and I am not a servant. I am the Cat who walks by himself.”
Rudyard Kipling
If the cat waits for long hours, silent beside the crack of the wainscot, it is for pure pleasure. Cats do not keep the mice away; it is my belief that they preserve them for the chase.
Oswald Barron
One cat just leads to another.
Ernest Hemingway
I’ve found that the way a person feels about cats – and the way they feel about him or her in return – is usually an excellent gauge by which to measure a person’s character.
P.C. Cast & Kristin Cast
Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.
Garrison Keillor
Cats are like potato chips – it’s hard to have just one.
Sandra Charon
As a good cat lover (Gattolico), I love athletic female cats more than cats, those not too tall, slim, well-rounded, nice and …..
Carl William Brown
Cats are like women – we may fart, but it’s quiet, polite, dignified, and never in public.
Justine Lee
Beware Of The Night, Child. All Cats Are Black In The Dark.
Jean Genet
There is nothing quite like the presence of a cat in the house to make you feel at home, whether it’s a mansion or the tiniest inner city apartment, a rustic cabin or royal palace. Cats are like a little bit of heaven on earth, their purring not unlike the stir of angel wings.
Theresa Mancuso
Some cats are like mystics or cloistered esthetes, finding waking life of no interest and entering it only for necessities such as eating, while others … do not disdain the secular pastimes of hunting, lurking, and exploring.
Val Schaffner
Finding a cat – or having a cat find you – can change your world as much as marriage, divorce, love, death, or even winning the lottery can, and sometimes more.
Kinky Friedman
Cats are like guests you’re never sure of and are always trying to please.
Mary Wells Lawrence
Dogs have Masters. Cats have staff.
Anonymous
Schrödinger’s cat, that poor imaginary feline, is both dead and alive until someone opens the box and checks its state.
Carl William Brown
Male or female, a cat will show you how it feels about you. People hide their feelings for various reasons, but cats never do.
Leicester Hemingway
Cats are like supermodels; they want you to please them.
Emily Yoffe
Cats specialize in sneaky. Unpleasant creatures who think they own the world.
Emily Carmichael
Cats are … an oxymoron. Soft, but have claws.
O. B. Wright
Cats are like gods–they accept our blandishments, but don’t reciprocate.
Maurice Barrès
There’s nothing like the company of a cat. Your cat is a loyal friend, a warm sleeping-buddy, a playmate, a confidant, a presence…. Cats bring joy and delight to everyday life. Stroking a cat can even lower your blood pressure.
Wendy Christensen
Cats invented self-esteem.
Erma Bombeck
All cats were at first wild, but were at length tamed by the industry of Mankind; it is a Beast of prey, even the tame one, more especially the wild, it being in the opinion of many nothing but a diminutive lion.
William Salmon
I think all cats are wild. They only act tame if there’s a saucer of milk in it for them.
Douglas Adams
Anyone who considers protocol unimportant has never dealt with a cat.
Robert A. Heinlein
A cat is not merely diverted by everything that moves, but is convinced that all nature is occupied exclusively with catering to her diversion.
Francois Auguste Paradis De Moncrif
Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want.
Joseph Wood Krutch
If cats have been the friends of man for so many centuries, could nature not have adapted itself, just a little, away from the formula: five or six kittens to a litter, four times a year?
Doris Lessing
A cat knows how to anticipate.
Roger Caras
Authors like cats because they are such quiet, lovable, wise creatures, and cats like authors for the same reason.
Robertson Davies
Walking is a human habit into which dogs readily fall but it is a distasteful form of exercise to a cat unless he has a purpose in view.
Carl Van Vechten
In the night all cats are gray.
Miguel De Cervantes
Physics teaches us that fate, like Schrödinger’s cat, can exist in contradictory states until we choose to know it.
Carl William Brown
Men prefer pets they can control, like dogs. They can’t handle that “get stuffed” stare from a cat.
Celia Hammond
Anyone who has owned many cats in long succession can define his or her life as a series of furry episodes.
Roger Caras
The cat could very well be man’s best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.
Doug Larson
If a fish is the movement of water embodied, given shape, then cat is a diagram and pattern of subtle air.
Doris Lessing
Man has been worshipping cat for centuries and cat has every intention of keeping it that way.
John Tickner
Domesticated felines remain “part-kitten” all through their lives, and even though they may be middle-aged in feline terms they still look upon their human owners as their mothers.
Desmond Morris
Cats ask plainly for what they want.
Walter Savage Landor
I love cats because I enjoy my home; and little by little, they become its visible soul.
Jean Cocteau
Cat’s are unpredictable. It is a fine line between the cure, inquisitive and innocent creature resting on our lap and the hissing, spitting and deranged banshee it might become at any moment. This is why we’re trying always to win their love.
George Takei
The self-esteem of a cat is extraordinary.
Christian Morgenstern
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Thoughts and reflections on cats
